Gen Con Community

 This was my second GenCon ever and I must say that my experience this year was much improved from that of a year ago. My first experience was actually so off putting that I almost didn't come back this year. And I've attended and staffed three anime conventions, so believe me I am more than familiar with the typical con male, and GenCon 2009 blew even me away with the level of socially inept behavior. Improvements over last year were:

 - Men who got my attention when they wanted a picture by walking alongside me and asking politely rather than by chasing me down and then touching or grabbing me.

- Men like the one who came up to me and said, "You are very attractive." and then walked away content to have paid a genuine compliment. Thank you, sir. Examples of innappropriate comments would be:

1. Telling me that you're in love with me.

2. Asking if my husband is at the con with me. Why do you need to know that? If you behave appropriately there's no need to worry.

3. The guy who asked if he could lay his head on my chest while proceeding to do so before I'd given permission. (Note: the answer was and will always be, "No.")

 To the men who conduct themselves with decorum and something approaching social aptitude, thank you. You can't know how much women who attend conventions appreciate you. To the men who touch and/or grab without permission or make lewd comments, please know that you ruin at least one woman's day each year.

First off -- awesome handle (YoSaffBridge)!

Not at all to excuse the boorish and outright inappropriate behavior, but you are at a con that has a lot of "men" who have no idea how to talk to a woman without giving a credit card number first. Alas those will be the ones who come towards you like a tomahawk missile.

My friend Rachel is a "booth babe" and she has a lot of quick quips for guys like these....

• "Wow, you're pretty" = "Thank you. You are dumpy, fat, pale and homely." 
• "I love you." = "Well I WAS *ambivalent* towards you, but that's really changing, creep-o."
• "Is your husband at the con?" = "Yes, and he happens to be jealous type, not to mention several times the man you'll ever be."
• "Can I lay my head on your chest?" = "Can I slam my fist in your nuts? I guess we'll see as soon as you try to lay your head on my chest, won't we."

I remember her saying that a dozen pathetic perverts obviously eyeing up her curves is partially made up for by that one kid looking at her wide-eyed, wondering if Miss Marvel is REALLY at GenCon.

 Mike: I don't mind the, "You're pretty." comments. It's always nice to be paid a compliment, even if it's unoriginal after the dozenth time that day. I appreciate that someone took the time to tell me that they recognize the hard work I've put into my appearance. Also, same goes for the chest staring. It would be unrealistic not to mention rather hypocritical of me to strap my breasts down until they're bursting out of a corset and then expect men not to stare at them.

 But yes, I realize that many of the men, particularly the younger ones, have not had much experience interacting with women. As you say, though, it's no excuse, particuarly for those who get physical.

 I actually find gencon guys to be a bit more respectful in general to the guys who frequent anime cons trolling for con sex.  However, I have seen some crap go down at gencon, especially this year.  

 I grabbed a guy taking a video up a girl's skirt, and though he could have charged me for assault he didn't and though I don't know what happened to him, last I saw he was waiting to talk to the cops after I made my statement.  He looked rather sad and pathetic, completely defeated.

 Then there was these two jerks who wanted to take my picture while I was wearing my corset, which is fine.  What was not fine was trying to push me down so I was leaning over so they could get more cleavage.   That really pissed me off.  I'm already rather leary of guys asking to be in the picture with me, I hate that they always take the oppurtunity to invade my personal space.  It seems rude and bitchy, but I'm not sure I'll do it in the future.

Also, at the White Wolf party a guy seemed offended I wouldn't tell him what hotel I was staying at.  "I'm not going to follow you there, I don't like you that much!"  Well, then, fine, there's no reason you need to know.

IceCreamAssassin:

I grabbed a guy taking a video up a girl's skirt, and though he could have charged me for assault he didn't and though I don't know what happened to him, last I saw he was waiting to talk to the cops after I made my statement.  He looked rather sad and pathetic, completely defeated.

Disgusting.

 

Then there was these two jerks who wanted to take my picture while I was wearing my corset, which is fine.  What was not fine was trying to push me down so I was leaning over so they could get more cleavage.   That really pissed me off.  I'm already rather leary of guys asking to be in the picture with me, I hate that they always take the oppurtunity to invade my personal space.  It seems rude and bitchy, but I'm not sure I'll do it in the future.

 Mostly I had good experiences with guys who wanted a picture with me. They asked before putting a hand around my waist, which I'm fine with, but that's also when the creeper who groped my chest with his face got me. So I understand the wariness.

OurMrs.Reynolds:

Asking if my husband is at the con with me. Why do you need to know that? If you behave appropriately there's no need to worry.

I'm not sure why that is insulting.  That in my opinion is a great opener to find out if someone you think is intersting or attractive is single.  I have used the similar "so did you leave your wife at home?" or "what does your girlfriend think about you going to gaming conventions?" line on men in the past to gauge their availability.  I think you may be reading too much into that question.  :) 

Sherilyn:

OurMrs.Reynolds:

Asking if my husband is at the con with me. Why do you need to know that? If you behave appropriately there's no need to worry.

I'm not sure why that is insulting.  That in my opinion is a great opener to find out if someone you think is intersting or attractive is single.  I have used the similar "so did you leave your wife at home?" or "what does your girlfriend think about you going to gaming conventions?" line on men in the past to gauge their availability.  I think you may be reading too much into that question.  :) 

 

 This question was posed to me after I had already revealed that I am married. His next question was, "Is he here?" I don't think I'm reading into anything regarding the intent of that question.

Well in that context it's a much different result... definitely. 

 I'm sorry you had to deal with those creeps.  In my GC experiences, I've had more "issues" with the younger guys (granted, misogyny is misogyny no matter how old the guy is), and regardless of age, I have no qualms whatsoever about shutting them down with the threat of a well-placed knee to the groin.  It's amazing how fast they either miraculously find their manners or run the heck away.

I'm glad to say that the vast majority of guys in attendance, either congoers or exhibitors or GMs, have not treated me like I'm stupid or that I'm just there because my man is a gamer.  But there is invariably a few bad apples wherever you go.

I have to agree that some guys at the con behaved totally disrespectful. My friend and I dressed up for the some of the cosplay deviant events (i wore a green wig, and she has short red hair)...and while most guys were totally awesome.. We had a couple that were down right horrible.

I mean, I don't lie.. we dress up to get attention. We love gamer guys and want to be attractive. That doesn't make it ok for some people to act as if we aren't human beings. And grabbing my shirt collar in an attempt to lower it, so that you can take a picture.. is very very not cool.

But nonetheless, the good guys are the ones I remember the most. Love my gaming populace. And some guys had very very polite manners.

~Purr

Perhaps we should create a group of amateur volunteer bodyguards who can - on request - accompany con babes and help keep bad behavior to a minimum. Volunteers would sign up for 1-4 hour blocks that would fit in betwixt scheduled events. The bodyguard would stay close enough to be a visible presence but not so close as to intrude upon the con babe's own personal space. Getting felt up by a jerk at Gen Con must be a terrible experience, made worse by the fact that you're surrounded by dozens/hundreds of people who watch it happend but don't cowboy/cowgirl up and defend you.

Part of what drives jackasses such as those described in this thread is the opportunity to feel "bigger" while making the con babe feel "smaller". If I could volunteer for a couple hours a day to prevent that from happening, I'd definitely do it. I'm hyper-social but I'm also an introvert, so I can't play games for 12 hours a day without going bonkers. Walking around a couple arm's lengths from someone while folks take pictures would give me something to do when I'm taking breaks from games.

 It was over all a fairly reasonable one this year, I'm not a charater cosplayer, but with my own costumes I do have a couple of comments and pictures thrown my way.... unfortunatly last year I had a couple of handsy photographers and assistants. This year I made sure that I was with my fiancee whenever I was in the dealer hall and it was dulled to a minimum. 

 

To the guy that told me that my picutre would be better if I were leaning over, You're lucky my fiancee likes gencon and didn't kick your rear right there.

To the guys that did a double take, thank you, compliment taken.

 and lastly to the drunken sod at Scotties, yes I know I was outside, and sitting waiting, but typically one picture is enough. you dont need to point and zoom into my cleavage, and yes, that big bald testosterone filled man next to me is my fiancee.

You know, it's incidents like these that ALMOST make me glad I'm overweight and nobody leers at me...

You girls are far braver than I am!

As someone who was quite the shutterbug at the con I'm always disappinted to hear about how some of my fellow males act.

Rule number 1. Always ask before taking a picture!

Rule number 2. If the object of your picture taking is busy shopping or talking. Leave them alone.

Rule number 3. Always be polite and say thank-you. A compliment is nice as well but can sometimes be mistaken for a come-on so you gotta play that one by ear.

Rule number 4. Always ask before taking a picture. It needs repeating!

Rule number 5. Keep your dang hands to yourself.

Rule number 6. If you're dressed in dirty clothes and smell like week old cheese don't ask to be in the picture. SHOWER! I smelled some nasty gamer funk this year. Less in quantity than years past but what was there almost brought tears to my eyes on occasion.

Rule Number 7. Booth Babes are payed to pay attention to you. They do not want to date you if they smile at you and say hello. Take their picture and move on.

qmslager:

While I like the idea of costumed folk and especially like the cosplay deviants for obvious reasons, to me if the kids can't play nice don't give them candy.  if they can't keep from pawing you, then don't dressup and instead come for the gaming

 

 I believe this is known as blaming the victim. "Don't wear sexy clothes if you don't want perverts to touch you inappropriately." No.

 Also, I'm going to display my ignorance here: What are cosplay deviants?

qmslager:

 While I like the idea of costumed folk and especially like the cosplay deviants for obvious reasons, to me if the kids can't play nice don't give them candy.  if they can't keep from pawing you, then don't dressup and instead come for the gaming.

 

Oh please. Nothing like blaming the victim. No one should have to change their costume because of immature guys that can't control their hands. It's called common decency and if the guys (or girls I suppose) can't keep their hands to themselves, perhaps THEY should stay home.

I swear, if I had a dime for every guy who very obviously tried to take a pic straight down my cleveage... 

I too, dress up for the attention and I'm not shy about the way I'm built.  The thing is, there is a big difference between taking a quick photo and snapping numerous shots of my boobs and fanny while drooling like a madman. 

Even my kids commented a few times on the more pervy guys.  While they love it that their old mom enjoys cosplay, they are get really offended when someone goes out of their way to be a creeper. 

Men have a maturity date, somewhere between 12 and 15, some of us make it to 16.   

 Wow. I guess Kyo (our station manager, and #1 catgirl) was lucky. Worst she got was a guy following her around for half an hour while working up the nerve to ask for her picture.

 She DID have a guy "accidentally" bump into her, but he kept his hands to himself.

 

OurMrs.Reynolds:

qmslager:

While I like the idea of costumed folk and especially like the cosplay deviants for obvious reasons, to me if the kids can't play nice don't give them candy.  if they can't keep from pawing you, then don't dressup and instead come for the gaming

 

 I believe this is known as blaming the victim. "Don't wear sexy clothes if you don't want perverts to touch you inappropriately." No.

 Also, I'm going to display my ignorance here: What are cosplay deviants?

Web search will answer that question, members only site of cosplay models in states of undress and such.